Photo by: Gabe De La Vega
On the brink of the Supreme Court’s vote, same sex marriage seemed to be a part of everyone’s conversation recently. My father told me that he read about a New Orleans caterer saying he/ she would not be involved in gay weddings, if same sex marriages become legal. Well, it’s now LEGAL!! Let me first say that I did not waste my time trying to find out who this caterer is. I work with only the best vendors in this amazing city. And I know that the vendors that I work with and that I am close with are all supporters of same sex marriage and will not turn down catering, photographing, planning, videoing, etc. a wedding just because there are two grooms or two brides. So what I can say with much conviction is that if anyone read that same article that my father was talking about and had a concern that perhaps New Orleans is not supportive of your love and life, that is not the case. That vendor is not on my list, so they are not worth your time anyway. You will only want to work with the best, so come to New Orleans and let the good vendors take care of you!
I do, however, have a question for that vendor, or anyone that says they can’t support same sex marriages because of religious beliefs, for instance. I want to know how closely you interview the “straight” couples? Do you take the time to investigate how they got together? Did they have sex before the wedding that you are catering because premarital sex is against some religious beliefs. Did you take the time to make sure they were not married previously, because divorce is a religious “no-no” in some cases? Did you make sure their love is not the product of an affair? We all know that would be a devastating blow to your portfolio to find out that you catered the wedding of two adulterers that got married. My point is, who are you to say whose love is worth catering for?
I have been planning weddings for the past 7 and a half years. I have met hundreds of different couples throughout the years between my couples preparing for marriage and their parents, siblings, grandparents, etc. I came into this business for more than money and for more than planning. I believe in marriage, but more than that, I believe in love. Love of any kind is pretty much what we all want. Whether it’s the love of a child, or a parent, or a spouse, we all want it no matter what stage of our life we are in. I happen to love being around the love that exists between the couples and their families.
It is eye-opening experience for me to watch from the outside and learn the dynamic of love from all different angles – especially the love of marriage. Of all the relationships I have seen and all the couples that have walked through the KS doors, one of the greatest examples of love that I have ever witnessed was via my first same sex marriage I had the privilege of being a part of.
Even during the planning, I could tell there was something special there. They did not fight over the silly things that just don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. They practiced the art of give and take – they communicated openly with each other and myself in order to make sure they were both getting what they wanted. They thought of special surprises for each other and their families. And once I met their families, I knew why they were thought of so highly. I have rarely seen “straight” couples with as supportive families as these two men. Their families and friends all came to New Orleans for the entire wedding weekend and they certainly came with “bells on.” Every single person was early for the ceremony, and by early, I mean 30 minutes. And every single person stayed until the end of the night. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house during the ceremony and I don’t think there was an ass in a chair during the reception. The love that came from these guests and this couple was overwhelming, even to myself and the director of the venue, which by the way was the Wax Museum!
As someone that has spent her entire life looking for love, I’d gladly choose homosexuality (if it were in fact a choice) if I could have what they have. Perhaps the reason they did not fixate on the bullshit is because the struggle for the homosexual community is real. Maybe if straight people had to fight a bit more for their relationships and the right to get married, they may appreciate it more. With the divorce rate as high as it is in this country, I have a hard time hearing that straight people think that homosexuals will make a mockery of the sanctity of marriage. I do not see where we have taken vows seriously, figured out how to make love last, or appreciate the freedoms that we have when it comes to marriage in the straight community.
We are living in a world where the government and social media pick and choose what’s appropriate and acceptable. Our “freedoms” are cleverly being controlled by the media with the stigmas that are put on people based on personal choices and decisions we should be able to make on a daily basis. By not legalizing same sex marriage, we were telling the world that something was wrong with being gay and finding love and being loved for who you are. Perhaps by lifting this ridiculous illegalization, the gay community will not have to combat so many ignorant people and everyone will feel comfortable just being themselves. Not just gay people or straight people – we’re just people and everyone should be able to be happy and love no matter what.
We are fighting a battle for love. At the end of the day, we were waiting for the government to dictate who can be in love. While, in this country, beastiality is legal in some states, the government and community were worried about two consenting adults loving each other? How does that make sense? I think instead of worrying about love, the government should spend their time worrying about hate by getting the crime rate down, creating harsher punishments for sex offenders, child molesters and animal abusers – you know, helpless victims of harsh crimes. Not wasting our time, money and social media space with their stance on whom should marry whom.
Thinking that this is a government issue is in and of itself laughable considering the very people voting on this are in fact married and half of them have been caught cheating and breaking the very vows they are trying to “protect”! All of a sudden, when the country has virtually turned its back on God stating that we can’t even mention him in schools for fear of offending people, they now want to use God to their benefit in order to segregate an entire community. As a Catholic heterosexual, I was married in the Catholic Church and got a divorce, but if I fill out some forms and throw enough money at the church, I can get an annulment and I can get married in the Catholic Church again next time. But same sex couples don’t even get one shot? When it is convenient, we can spin anything to work in our favor, I guess.
BUT, today I am glad this was finally spun in favor of love! With so many hurtful and hateful things going on in this world, voting against love, of any kind, just seems wasteful. The more love we have in the world, the better. Same sex couples were raising children together, but had no legal right to each other because they were not legally married. It’s time to wake up and realize that idealizing straight people and the “rights” we have are long gone. The advantages that are given to some have been taken advantage of and it’s time for everyone to have the same rights across the board. Same sex couples are probably doing a better job even parenting than the straight couples that walk out on their children daily. Let’s give the gay community a chance to screw up the statistics for a change! Why should the straight people create all the drama? Welcome to the sanctity of marriage – I hope you do a better job than we have!